Good or Bad?

I love Star Wars. I am not able to quote lines from the movies, I can't give you the names of all the minor characters, nor am I able to tell you what planet Wookies come from, but I do enjoy a good lightsaber duel from time to time. I distinctly remember cheering along with the rest of the audience on the opening day of Episode 1 when, at the climactic fight scene, Darth Maul pulled out his saber, pressed a button it on, and blades extended out from both ends. I am fairly sure that several of the people around me had actual nerdgasms. Darth Maul then proceeded then to kick the crap out of the good guys for a while, even (spoiler alert from 10 years ago!) killing the one who's name I can't spell before getting cut in half by a quick-thinking Obi-Wan. Due to its sheer awesomeness, this particular fight scene is burned into my memory with such clarity that I don't even really need to watch it ever again. But of course I will watch it again. That is one of the great things about having a son who is now old enough to get into Star Wars.

After much debate, I decided that the best way to introduce Star Wars to my son was the same way that it had been introduced to all of us, namely with the older 3 movies followed by the newer three movies. This was not a simple decision to make, nor is it easy to explain to a 5 year old why we are watching movies 4, 5, and 6 before we watch 1, 2, and 3. But, as it turned out, like about 98.3% of the population, Ryan could not have cared less about which order we watched them in as long as he got to see himself some Star Wars lightsaber action.

We started watching Episode 4 - A New Hope (commonly known simply as "Star Wars") one Friday night for Ryan's movie night. It opens up with a dramatic scene in which Darth Vader and his Storm Troopers board a ship containing Princess Leia, C3PO, R2D2, and a whole lot of cannon fodder. There is a battle royale in which, eventually, Leia is captured and the two droids are shot into space in an escape pod. Lots of fighting and lots of action, but all Ryan wanted to know was who was good and who was bad.

"Is that a good guy or a bad guy?" he'd asked when Leia was talking to R2D2.

"First of all, she isn't a 'guy', she's a girl," I informed him quickly. Like most males my age, I had a huge crush on Leia and I was not going to allow Ryan to refer to her as a "Guy". "Second, she is good. She is Princess Leia."

"Oh," he said, nonplussed. "Why is she talking to that trash can?"

"That 'trash-can' is R2D2 and he is a droid." Anticipating the next question, I continued, "And a droid is a type of robot that helps people."

"Is he good or bad?"

"He is good."

"How do you know it is a he?"

I had no idea. "I have no idea," I told him. "Maybe because he is blue?"

"Does he have a penis?"

"What? No! He doesn't have a penis. At least I don't think so.... Never mind!"

I'm not sure if he was messing with me or not, but thankfully he changed topics and asked "What about the big gold one? Is he good or bad?"

"Good. That is C3PO."

"What does 'C3PO' mean?"

"I have no idea. You are taking some of the fun out of this."

"Ok. Who is the big guy in the black?"

"Darth Vader," I responded, back on firmer footing.

Continuing with his theme for the night, Ryan asked, "Is he good or bad?"

"He is bad. Really bad. The worst guy in the universe."

"Worse than Glenn Beck?"

That's my boy! Apparently he has heard me rant a few times about that dude, and apparently I have to be more careful about what I say and when I say it. He's like a little malfunctioning tape recorder that records everything but plays back only the stuff he shouldn't have heard.

I laughed. "Yep. Even worse than Glenn Beck."

"Wow."

"I know."

The pattern then continued for each and every person, droid, ship, machine and star in the entire movie. "Is that (blank) good or bad?" After hearing this question about 100 times it actually got tough to answer. Not because I got tired of it, but because for some things I felt like a simple "good" or "bad" was not a proper answer. He just wanted a black and white, good or bad, with-us or against-us type of answer and I was spending far too much time thinking about these things. Is a ship good or is it bad? Does it depend on who is in the ship? Are droids good or bad? Doesn't it depend on who programmed them? And if they are just responding to their programming can they be considered to be either one? What about Han Solo? He is a smuggler and owes a bunch of money to a known gangster, which is bad, but he helps Luke and Leia, so that is good. Luke? He is kind of whiny, petulant, and hard headed (not great characteristics) but he is the hero of the story and saves the day (good. Probably. But he did kill all those people on the Death Star to do it, so...).

Also, on a different note, is anyone else aware that in that first battle that I already described as the two droids launch themselves toward the planet in the escape pod, the Empire gunman actively chose NOT to shoot the escape pod containing the only hope of the rebellion? Had he simply pulled the trigger, this entire series would have been approximately 7 minutes long, including opening and closing credits.

Aparently I have to turn my brain off when watching Star Wars with him in the future.

Anyway, Ryan now has a better idea of what good and bad mean, and thanks to Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and the "Clone Wars" cartoon, he is getting the idea that it isn't always a clearly defined line. Given that there are many adults out there who struggle with this concept, it will probably be a while before he understands it completely. In the mean time, I'll simply enjoy the fact that we get to have some father-son bonding time and watch some totally fun lightsaber duels.