Put away your wood...

The other day, I was in class going over a reading guide on plant parts that I had the students fill out the previous night. I will freely admit that it wasn't the most exciting thing in the world, but the little children need to learn how to read and glean information from the pages of books eventually, so I figure that high school isn't too late to try and teach them that skill.

I was moving through the questions, asking random kids to give their answers to said questions, when I heard a strange sound.

Shhht. Shhht. Shhht.

I'm a little confused and I think, what the hell is that? It is a sound I have heard before, but never in my classroom, so I am having a tough time placing it. I continue asking questions while the sound goes on in the background.

Shhht. Shhht. Shhht.

I am glancing around the room now, trying to pinpoint the cause of the noise. I have gotten fairly good at multitasking in the classroom, so I am still asking questions and interacting with the students while searching for this sound that is getting more and more irritating.

"Billy, what did you get for #5?" I ask a student. As he is responding, I notice something in the second row, about 5 feet from where I am standing. I hear the noise again, and sure enough, I have found the source.

"Hey! Frank! What are you doing?" I ask the student who is behind the sound.

Frank glances up at me, clearly baffled. "What," he asks.

"The wood and sandpaper under your desk. What are you doing?"

He lies. "Nothing."

"Are you working on your wood shop project in my class?" I ask, having a hard time believing that these words are coming out of my mouth.

"Ummmm....." says Frank, eloquently.

"I can't believe this. I can honestly say that you are the first person to ever attempt to do a little woodworking during a lecture." He grins. "Text messaging I can understand - it is quiet and normally unobtrusive - but this is ridiculous."

By now the class is laughing because even they can't believe this dude decided that this would be a good place to put the finishing touches on a bench.

"It isn't even as though you are working on a breadboard or something. Look at that thing...it could be the top of an coffee table!" By now even I am laughing. "Ok, Frank. To save yourself, tell me what part of the plant gave you that lovely piece of wood that you were so diligently working with."

Thankfully he was able to give the correct answer. "The stem?"

"Very good. Now put away your wood and lets get back to the reading guide."

Unfortunately, this last sentence can be taken in a number of ways, and needless to say the class of 32 freshmen found it hilarious.